Just a Family
by CoalTrain
Summary: Everyone knows Estel never really belonged. But as he begins to question himself, his purpose and his family, he starts to realize it. As the years start to pass, can he be protected before he has to go protect Middle Earth?
1. His Heart Breaks

Title: Just A Family

Author: Psalm 136

Summary: No one understands he doesn't belong. Except Estel, of course.

A/n: A story idea I got from reading a fic about Estel thinking everyone forgot his sixth birthday. Its by Liek. And if the reviews point to it, I shall add on more. But I don't know. You tell me if I should. Also, note that although this is going up under CoalTrain's account, all credit goes to Psalm 136 -End random comment from CoalTrain

Disclaimer: insert typical disclaimer that basically says the plot is only partially mine and that I don't own anyone

Just A Family

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Estel wandered around the beautiful Imladris, his eyes on the floor. Once again he was lectured by Glorfindel. Once again he was lectured by Erestor. He didn't remember exactly what they said, but what he had gotten out of their speeches was that he was too young to understand life and that he should really grow up. But he sighed. Didn't they understand he aged faster than elves? He was fourteen. He wasn't a child.

He kind of just plopped down on the floor by a window, his head leaning against the wall beside the curtains. He was partially hidden by plants so if anyone passed by, they either didn't see him or didn't care that he was sitting alone. The once exuberant boy had now just grown up. And he hated every bit of it.

Nostalgia filled him as he thought back on the days when he would run to Ada when he scraped his knee or the elflings teased him. He remembered when Elladan and Elrohir would take him out into the rain, just so he could dance around. He remembered the two reading him stories, teaching him about girls, and just being his big brothers in whose arms he felt completely safe. He remembered running around and giggling, trying to hide from Glorfindel when he and the twins had pranked him.

Well, Estel was all grown up now. And no one realized it.

He spent most of the day there, trying to figure out ways to prove his worth, to prove he wasn't just a child. At first, talking to Elladan and Elrohir seemed the best resolution. But he decided against that. Running to his brothers made him only seem more childish.

"I don't need them. I don't need any of them!" Estel whispered fiercely, anger building in his chest until he felt like he would burst. But it was a good thing, to be filled with blind wrath and rage. He felt like he could take on the entirety of Imladris… and win.

He got up, trying his best not to trip over his own feet. He swore violently in Dwarven and forced himself to walk as best he could. He wasn't a little child to get frustrated by his own legs. He would force them to cooperate. He would force himself to be grown up. He wasn't weak or childish.

"Estel!" Elladan's deeper voice called him. He didn't turn. "Estel!" He tried again, and then sped up, grabbing his younger brother by the arm.

"What?" The mortal asked in a scathing tone.

"Calm down, little one. I was just wondering if you would like to partake in a prank that does NOT include Ada's wine, pillow feathers and honey." His eyes twinkled, despite his innocent face.

"Shut up, stupid." The fourteen-year-old glared and walked away, clenching his fists and gritting his teeth. Stupid Elladan, thinking he'd want to act like such a child. He wasn't six. He was fourteen! Fourteen! NOT A CHILD. His anger filled him again and he nearly started to shake as he walked along.

He didn't even notice that Legolas had arrived. He just shut himself in his room for the rest of the day and didn't come out to dinner. He knew he didn't belong. He didn't belong. Estel looked around his room and tears filled his eyes, but they were angry ones. He had lived here for twelve years and they all babied him and he hated it. He didn't need them.

So there was only one thing to do. And it wasn't screaming curses and knocking things over (because he was already busy doing that). He had to get out of there. He was a disgrace and he was worthless. He couldn't even swing a sword right. He was so…. Human.

Estel packed up a rucksack and pushed open the doors to his balcony and then climbed down. He had always done that when Elladan or Elrohir would collect him for a prank. They lied to him. They said they loved him. How could they love him when he was edain? Dropping to the ground, he used every skill in tracking to hide his footsteps as he stole away from the Last Homely House. There was a fire in him that demanded he leave. And who better to trust than himself? He didn't lie to himself.

It was when it started raining that he realized in his haste he had forgotten to pack food. He kept plodding on. He couldn't rest the night and the rain would shield his footsteps so he could rest when the storm was over. And it didn't matter if he rested. He could die out there and no one would care. And he would be happy, being away from them. He was edain. They were firstborn. They were perfect, he was nothing more than a sinful, clumsy human. He let out a furious scream and threw his rucksack into the woods.

That was probably one of the worst ideas he had ever had in his entire life. For where he cast his bag, came a bear. It was big and mean looking and when it snorted, fog came from its nose. That never meant good things were to come. He gulped nervously and looked around, trying to find a place to run. He was surrounded by a great forest, but the bear knew it better than even he did. And the thought scared him. He yelped and just started to run, forgetting his Ada's words about bears.

Estel was quickly running out of breath. He had walked a long while and didn't have the hidden reserves of strength the elves did so he found himself panting and his steps were getting heavier. Even his fears didn't propel him. But his determination did. He wasn't going to die by some old bear. He would die in a way he saw fit and dying at fourteen wasn't a way of dying he saw fit, quite honestly.

His long, gangly legs betrayed him. He stumbled over a log, falling fast first into the mud.

XXX

Elrond sat in his study, busy writing a few papers. He hummed a tune Celebrian would always sing as she went about her day. He put down his pen in the inkwell and blew on the paper, insuring that the ink wouldn't smear and he wouldn't have to start over. He massaged his hand, for he had been writing for quite a long time. He stood up and put his long robe back on. He paced in his study, glad for once Estel wasn't getting into trouble and he could have quiet. It was only quiet because the twins weren't back yet. They were probably just caught in the rain. Elrond had faith in his twin sons, so he was hardly worried. There was just the paranoid paternal instincts inside him that one of his sons was in trouble. But he shook his head. He was just being silly. He hadn't slept much in the past weeks, for Estel was going into the teenage years, in which humans were rebellious and a handful of trouble. Would that boy ever learn?

A small smile came to his face, despite the current situation with his foster son. Even though Estel wasn't like the elflings, since he couldn't exceed in everything for his human blood wouldn't permit it, he was still a strong boy and would certainly be a good King. Elrond knew it. The half elf had known Arathorn and Gilraen, and if Estel was anything like them, he would be a King not even time could erase from the minds of humans.

"Milord?" Glorfindel rushed in, looking rather frazzled.

Elrond sighed, rubbing his temples. "What has Estel done this time?" He had wished for some peace. He had thought the teenaged boy would settle in his room with a book or something because it was raining. He could only imagine; mud all over the floors, mud in place of Glorfindel's hair wash… which caused him to wonder. Why WAS Glorfindel the target of all pranks that came to be in Imladris. His thoughts were broken by the Balrog Slayer's voice.

"He has run…"

"Around with mud?"

"No, Elrond… Estel has run away from Imladris."

Time stopped for Elrond. What was that boy thinking? Did he want to die in the rain? Did he want to be attacked by a bear or something? But any angry or remotely angry thoughts disappeared with one glance out at the rainy Rivendell. "Are there any places he could have gone?"

"No, I don't even know how he got out. His balcony doors were tightly shut and nothing was out of place." The blonde replied. "I shall go out now."

Elrond shook his head. "No, he will come back when he's ready. He's not stupid. He will come back." _I hope…_ Elrond thought desperately.

Glorfindel had his better judgment and knew he should be already searching for the boy, but he couldn't disobey a direct order. He had too much respect for the Lord of Imladris to do so. His ears twitched as he heard two familiar voices and groaned, much to the amusement of Elrond.

"It is not funny." He whispered, hoping the twins wouldn't overhear them and know they were in the study.

"Oh, but it is." Elrond replied in the same soft tone of voice.

"You don't get pranked non stop."

"But they are my sons."

Both were silent as Glorfindel struggled to come up with an answer, trying to keep his mind on the conversation and not on a probably cold, sick, hungry human boy in the forest.

"Good point." He agreed.

XXX

Before Estel knew it, the bear was upon him and its mighty jaws descended on the helpless human's leg. Estel screamed, but no one could hear him. The thunder crashed and the lightning flashed above him and he started to sob. He kicked the bear with his other leg, but it only continued to crush his left leg in its jaws. He could feel the blood pouring out and joining with the mud. He screamed and kicked it again, trying to scramble away, but the bear bit his side. He struggled, but then remembered what Elladan had told him to do: play dead.

Estel took a deep breath and then held it, and stopped moving. He had learned a lot from elves and could be pretty convincing when he 'played' anything. The bear sniffed him and slashed his back a few times, just to make sure he was 'dead' and then roared, chasing after a deer caught in the rain. Estel let out the breath and tried to move with his injuries. He could move, but not well. He crawled over to a tree and used the support to stand up. He knew immediately that his leg was broken. A rib was cracked. But he could limp heavily and continue moving. Maybe when he reached a human village, they could tend to his wounds for free, since he now had nothing but the muddy clothes on his back and the dagger at his waist. In his fear, he had forgotten all about it.

The pain was excruciating. He whimpered every time he moved, but his stupidity, bull-headedness and determination forced him to continue. He didn't need the damn elves! He was fine on his own. He had survived a bear and he could move. That was saying something, right? Whether it was in truth or not, Estel felt a bit more confident and that small boost of self esteem kept going. He entertained him with his thoughts.

"Those elflings would die when they were faced with a bear. They would scream like girls and then die. They're not strong like me. You can't beat orcs or bears by looking pretty." These thoughts kept him occupied and he continued moving steadily away from the Last Homely House, the only home he had ever known.

But as time wore on, he started to become very hungry and cold. He shook and he was starting to cough. It became harder to move and he just wanted to go back and get some tea from his Ada and sleep for a few hours and then go to the kitchens and get a feast all to himself. But he screamed in frustration, forgetting how much it hurt his rib. No! He was human. He didn't need elves to survive. He was fine on his own.

But he wondered why no one had come after him. That unanswered question brought tears to his eyes. Didn't they care enough to even look? But he growled as the rain continued to fall. He didn't even WANT them to step a foot out of the house of Elrond. He wanted to be alone and was glad that he was. His parents were stupid, to think he needed to be with elves. Elves were stupid and relied on their looks to get them anything they wanted. Legolas was the worst of all. He thought ESTEL needed him as a friend. PAH! He didn't need anyone. He was fine on his own. He loved being on his own. He would be content to live as far away from civilization as possible. As for friends? Friends were merely trying to use you to get something. There was no such thing as love or friendship. They were merely ways to get something. No one, especially elves, wanted to give anything.

His legs shook and he put too much pressure on his broken leg. He yelped and collapsed. Mud splashed in his face as he just laid there for a moment. He tried to find some warmth in the thick mud, but it was all freezing cold. He cursed his mortality. But as he coughed and trembled and shivered, a thought hit him. If he died, he would feel so much better. But another thought came to him. He didn't want to die so painfully. So he used his arms, no matter how painful it was, with the slashes on his back. He was too strong to die helplessly from a quickly growing sickness. He was too strong to die! He growled and crawled, using both arms and his right leg.

He made it fourteen yards before he needed a rest. He inhaled mud and started to choke. Punching himself in the stomach and using all air he had currently in his lungs, he managed to force the mud into his mouth. Gagging, he spit it out and turned on his back, opening his mouth for the rain and filled his mouth up and spit it back out, glad his mouth was clean again. He detested anything muddying his mouth.

Estel forced himself another yard and then fainted for a few minutes. He became conscious again, thankfully. He tried to find some hidden strength, but he had used that already. His arms were tired, his leg throbbed and his entire torso ached and felt as if it was on fire. He moaned as his stomach growled for food. In his pain, he started to become half-delirious.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Stomach. I don't have any food but if you use something I still have stored in there, I can get you some quickly. NO! I'm not going back to the elf food palace. Never. They hate me! They don't love me. What are you talking about? Lord Elladan and Lord Elrohir were just leading me on to believe they loved me. Lord Elrond? He hates me!" Any other words he spoke were drowned out by the raging thunder and lightning.

XXX

Glorfindel finished off his meal and looked around. He felt a pang in his heart when he saw the seat between Elladan and Elrond unoccupied. That was where Estel always sat, so he could be entertained by his brothers in the likely case Elrond needed to speak with an advisor or a visitor. The blonde took a sip of wine and then asked to be excused for the night. The lie he needed rest was his excuse, but lie or not, it got him out of having to go through the torture of not seeing the charming little boy… no, the charming young man there.

As he walked to his chambers, he wondered what could have made the human run. They had never treated him unfairly. Each of the elves loved him in the way they knew best. Even Erestor was very fond of the foster son of Elrond. How could anyone not? He was a funny boy, charming and disarming, but he probably learned the last two from his brothers, Glorfindel thought with a smile. No matter how angry the three brothers made him sometimes, the love he held for them and the want to protect them never changed. He highly doubted it would ever change. He never wanted it to.

He didn't know why he hadn't disobeyed the order earlier. Elrond wouldn't care when he returned with Estel. He entered his chambers quickly and dressed warmly and packed a small bag with lembas and medicines. He took another grim look out the window before heading down to the stables. He took Asfaloth from his stall and jumped on bareback, riding out into the rain. He held his loaded bow in one hand and steered his stallion with the other. Something wasn't right. He had yet to figure out what it was.

Each minute it took, more worry was on Glorfindel's shoulders. If anything had happened to Estel, he would count it his fault. He should not have been so harsh. He had taken his stress out on the boy unrightfully so when he had complained. It was in a child's nature to complain and whine and he had failed the boy when he spoke sharply to Estel.

He stopped at a clearing, dismounting and venturing out on foot. He sent out an arrow when he saw a bear as his heart fell into his torso. What if it had attacked Estel? Panic rose in him and he forced himself to go faster. He traveled for three hours and the rain had stopped and the mud was drying, making it harder to run, but still he continued. He would not be satisfied until he found Estel or scoured the entirety of the forests. His breath caught in his throat when he saw the passed out boy laying in the mud, covered in the thick stuff as well.

Glorfindel knelt by Estel's side and turned him over onto his back. He checked for breathing and heart beat and found both. Good, he was alive. That was good. He calmed himself down and took the pack from his back and took out the medicines and stopped. He saw the large gash on the human's leg and on his side and could see dried blood on his tunic, obviously from his back. He hung his head for a moment. How stupid he was.

He began to treat Estel's side wound, carefully washing it and binding it as well as he could with the human unconscious. He, luckily, was able to find proper wood for a splint and set the bone carefully and bound it well. He had learned much from Elrond over the long years. He put an arm around the boy's back and lifted his torso up before slipping his other arm under his knees and walked back to Asfaloth.

Putting the mortal on his horse, he rushed back to get his healing supplies before heading back to Rivendell. He carried Estel up to the healing wing. Elrond was already there, but was working on another patient already so he didn't acknowledge Glorfindel's presence or notice the blonde's burden.

The Balrog Slayer cleared his throat. "My lord?"

"Yes, mellon nin?" He asked, binding a soldier's grazed side (he had been training and his partner had made a mistake) before sending him off.

"I found Estel."

Elrond whirled around and set to work, not even saying anything. It was routine for the elf lord to not react emotionally if something had happened to a friend so he would have time to prepare mentally for such a reaction. He undid the bandages from around Estel's side and examined the bite. No festering, he thought, it was good Glorfindel had reached him when he had or Estel would be dying at the moment.

"Leave, Glorfindel." Elrond said as he began to work. He got out his herbs and glanced over his shoulder at his advisor. "Please, my friend." There was a weariness and regret in his voice and eye and Glorfindel nodded.

"Alert me when he awakes." He said as he left the room.

Elrond turned to his foster son who laid, muddy and bloody, on the white linen infirmary bed. Tears threatened to blur his vision but he wiped them away quickly. Estel wouldn't love him ever again. It had been his fault. He should have realized the boy wanted to be treated like a man, but Elrond, as a father, knew he had so much further to go. That was where he had gone wrong. He had thought too much. He sighed and started to work on his son.

XXX

Days later, Estel awoke to an empty room. He stared at the ceiling and then remembered that he had been running away. He would have gotten up and stole away, but his leg hurt really badly. And his side made it harder to breathe. He shifted uncomfortably but then stopped because his back started to feel like fire. He laid still, eyes narrowed at the ceiling.

He closed his eyes in fear when Elrond walked in. Was he going to punish him? Of course he was, you dummy, he chided himself. He gulped as he slowly opened his eyes. To his surprise, Elrond didn't say a word to him, neither did he look him in the eye. He merely helped him sit up and changed the bandages around his torso and back. Estel didn't know what he had expected. Did he expect loving words? Of course not. If Elrond loved him, he wouldn't have felt that running was the best way. Did he expect punishment? Of course. He always was getting punished, even when he was just acting on his own good judgment.

"Ummm… Ada?" Estel asked, getting Elrond's attention.

"Yes?" Elrond didn't know what to say. He thought Estel hated him, yet here he was, calling him Ada.

"Doyouhateme?" He blurted out.

Elrond chuckled and sat down on the bed beside Estel's legs. "What, ion nin?"

"Do you hate me?" He asked timidly, averting his eyes.

Elrond reached over and lifted Estel's chin, meeting his eyes. "Why would you think that, Estel?" He asked.

"Because you and Glorfindel and Erestor are always lecturing me and punishing me and telling me to grow up… I'm trying! It's hard! I'm stupid and clumsy and… and…and… HUMAN!" Hysterically crying, he clutched to his foster father's arm.

Elrond wrapped Estel in his arms, laying his chin on the hair of his human son. His heart broke with the boy's words. He truly thought this of himself? But he was always so happy. He hide it, he didn't think anyone would care, he realized. A tear slid from his eye as he hugged his son closer, whispering comforting words in elvish, trying to calm him down. He told a healing assistant to gather the twins and watched as the young lady scurried off and then turned his attention to his youngest son.

"Estel, listen to me." He said in his gentlest voice.

"What?" Estel prompted him to go on, sniffling.

"You are my son, I love you. I have been hard on you, but that has nothing to do with you. Its my fault I have been taking things out on you that have nothing to do with you and not apologizing. I am very sorry my neglect caused you to run." He said, looking Estel in the eye.

"Really? You really mean that?"

The twins, Elladan and Elrohir, entered the room and rushed to Estel's bedside. In their haste, Elrond had to back off so his twin sons could squeeze his youngest to death. Tears freely rolled down the twins' faces. They had thought they had lost their brother. Neither of them had slept or ate since the night Estel stole away. And that was almost a week ago.

"Dan… Ro… you're 'quishing me!" Estel protested as he giggled. He had forgotten how much he loved his brothers. He didn't care that giggling wasn't something a normal fourteen year old did, but he would always be a seven year old at heart when the twins were around.

"We're so sorry little brother!" Elladan lamented. "We love you so much yet we treated you like a little child!"

Elrohir nodded, climbing onto the bed beside his younger brother and put an arm around him while Elladan did the same on the other side. They clasped hands over Estel's torso, promising him complete security while they were around. The fourteen-year-old was surprised by their tears and obvious love for him. He had been so short with them he would have thought that they were angry with him. But he wasn't complaining.

"You aren't… mad at me for leaving?" He looked up at the identical faces of his brothers whom he both loved and admired.

"No! We are mad at ourselves." Elrohir answered.

Elrond smiled and sat on the end of Estel's bed. "I love you, ion nin." He looked his son in the eye.

"We love you as well, little brother." Elladan and Elrohir said at the same time.

"Really?" Estel's eyes were brimming with tears. He had been wrong. He had a family. They loved him. He didn't have to be perfect.

"Really." Glorfindel appeared in the door. He smiled at the human and stood at the foot of Estel's bed. "Feeling better, little one?"

Estel nodded. "Yes. Everything's better now."

XXX

Read and Review! PLEASE:begs:


	2. Their Painful Words

Title: Just a Family

Author: Psalm 136 (Coaltrain was kind enough to put this up for me, seeing how my account is disagreeing with me at the moment)

Rating: K+

Summary: See first chapter

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Except the plot, but this is mostly just a PWP, because I am hopeless at plots.

A/N: I am so flattered by the quick reviews! THANKS GUYS! Well, because I love you guys so much… here's another installment of "Just a Family". And keeping with the Estel-needing-a-family theme, I hope this lives up to your guys' standards. AND THERE IS NO SLASH! LEGOLAS AND ESTEL ARE FRIENDS! THE TWINS ARE BROTHERS! NO SLASH! Just wanted to make sure we were all on the same page.

Just A Family

Story Two

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Estel was recovering quite nicely after his slight run-in with the bear. His leg was nearly healed and his side didn't hurt as much any more. And he was happy, most of all. Elrond was always the one to tend to him, Elladan and Elrohir came in and read him stories and told him jokes and bragged about how they continually beat Legolas, while the modest Prince would stand to the side and roll his eyes, Glorfindel told him stories of Arda's history and Erestor even came in and read to him. But Estel was glad Legolas was always present in the room. He regretted being hurt, or they could be hunting or riding or taking walks like they always did whenever the Prince visited.

Estel grinned brightly as he was carried out of the room by his older twin brothers. Seeing how their father told him he couldn't walk, they saw fit to give him another means of travel. Despite their laughing exteriors, it was not all fun and games for Elladan and Elrohir. They weren't going to let their baby brother (even though he wasn't much of a baby anymore) get hurt.

"Ow, my leg hurts!" Estel gasped as a sharp pain shot through his leg.

Legolas, who was walking behind the brothers, took the young boy into his arms, shushing the twins and comforted the boy. The twins smiled at each other. It was precious to see how Estel would only be comforted by the blonde prince and it could be said Legolas was more than happy to take on such a role. He had two younger siblings and loved playing the part of the older brother, even to one not of his own race.

Estel snuggled into his friend's arms, despite his insistence he was fourteen and no longer a child. He would always be a child at heart around Legolas and Elladan and Elrohir. And he didn't mind too much, until his leg stopped paining him and he grinned.

"Let's go!" The twins had prepared a surprise for him and he was anxious for it. They HAD promised him, after all, and the little brother inside wouldn't let that go.

Laughing, the quartet made their way through the halls of Imladris. It was raining, so everyone was inside, even the elflings. Estel didn't know this, but Elladan and Elrohir always went ahead as Legolas followed with Estel in his arms so they could check for elflings. All the young elven children delighted in teasing Estel about him being human and the fact he was adopted. And the young human boy would never give names or faces and bore it silently and strongly. As the protective older brothers they were, they weren't going to let anything happen to their brother, if they could help it.

Legolas finally set Estel down on a bench in a covered outdoor area. He took off his cloak and put it around the boy, since elves didn't feel the cold. With huge grins, the blonde and dark haired hellions ran off and Estel laughed, excited for whatever they had in store.

Until six elflings (four male, two female) entered the hallway and laughed mockingly at the sight of him. Estel sighed, since these were the main offenders and they always seemed to have the most cutting remarks to torment him with. But he remembered that his Ada and brothers and friends loved him. He absentmindedly rubbed his sore side and wished the pain would just go away. Stupid bears.

"Oh, look who it is! It's the unwanted dirty human!" One of the elfling females said, and the elflings snickered.

"Yeah, look at those round ears. He's so stupid, too, I don't understand why Lord Elrond took him in. Probably because he feels bad for humans." One of the boys snapped.

"My Ada took me in because he cares about me. He loves me. He told me himself. And Elladan and Elrohir and Glorfindel and Erestor and Legolas love me too!" Estel said, though his voice wavered. Why would these elflings lie to him? He shook his head. They loved him.

"Look at you! You're a human. You're stupid and ugly and clumsy and unwanted and unloved!" The other female remarked in a shrilly tone.

"Just because you have nothing better to do doesn't mean you can be mean!" Estel hissed, not wanting to attract attention. "Just leave me alone, my brothers and Legolas will be back in a few minutes, so you better scram before I tell them what you've said!" He threatened, though his silver eyes were filling quickly with tears.

"Ooh, look at the little stupid human boy. He's crying! He's a PANSY!" One of the other boys grabbed onto Estel's rounded ear and pulled hard.

Estel let out a cry, soft as it was, and stood up off the bench, on his injured legs, trying to shake the elfling off. As his bad luck would have it, the elfling was taller than him and still pulled, forcing him to put pressure on his injured leg. His legs collapsed from underneath him and he lay on the floor, sobbing from the pain and from the horrible humiliation of crying.

The elflings ran off just as Estel heard Legolas' lilting laugh and Elladan and Elrohir's deeper voices as they told their good friend jokes. Elrohir was first to spot Estel and he ran towards him, sliding on the floor in a manner most unfit for an elf but in his haste, Elrohir could have cared less. He gently picked his younger brother up and sat him on the bench. His azure eyes searched Estel's tear-filled silver ones.

"What happened, toror?" 'Brother'

"I-I-I accidentally stood up, I'm sorry, Ro!" Estel leaned against his brother and sobbed.

Legolas knew that Estel was lying, it was evident in his clear silver eyes that he had grown to adore. He was hiding something. The elf just needed to figure out what it was. But in the meantime, he decided, he would just play dumb and let the human open up himself. It would do no one good if Legolas just demanded answers. And besides, that was just not something he would do.

"What's my surprise?" Estel asked and they all chuckled.

"Here." Elladan said, and held out the package for the boy to take.

It was much heavier than Estel expected, but he opened it easily and then his heart stopped. It was a beautiful painting of a beautiful woman and he knew exactly who it was. It was the woman he dreamt of many nights out of the year. It was his mother. With shaking fingers, he traced her face and then looked up at the other three.

"Who painted it?" He demanded, in an almost angry tone.

Elladan raised his hand slightly, for he had some skill with a paintbrush and Estel hugged him tightly, whispering his thanks in a mixture of elvish and common. The eldest smiled and brushed back some of Estel's curly dark hair and hugged him tightly in return. He knew what it was like to be without a mother, and knew that seeing her likeness helped the heartache.

"Come Estel." Elrond's voice came from further down the hall. "Time to change your bandages."

Estel groaned but was lifted up by Elrohir and he carried his brother back to the healing wing like he had when the boy had scraped his knee when he was five. The trip was quick, but seemed like an eternity for the teenager. They all pitied him. He really was worthless. Why was he even alive? He could never do anything worth remembrance. He was just a human. Those of noble blood were born for such deeds. He was a worthless boy. It really wasn't much of a negative thing. He was merely accepting what he believed to be truth, which was in fact a lie.

Estel barely whimpered as Elrond changed his bandages. The salve the elven Lord put on burned like fire, but supposedly helped the healing. That was laughable. It hurt so much, the young mortal wished to rip the bandages off and scratch as if there was no tomorrow. He bit his lip and clasped his hands tightly together to keep him from actually going through with his thoughts. He nearly shook with the effort, but he managed to not do so.

"You alright, little one?" Glorfindel asked as he entered the room.

"No." Estel snapped.

"What happened?" He inquired further, taking a seat on the chair by the boy's bedside.

"NOTHING." He stated forcefully.

"Peace, Estel. I wish only for your well-being." He gave the human a small smile that infuriated him further.

"SHUT UP!" He burst out, feeling no remorse. "YOU CARE NOT FOR ME! IF YOU DID, THEY WOULD NOT TELL ME THE TRUTH!"

Despite the teenager's outburst, Glorfindel remained calm and peaceful, if only on the exterior. "What truth?"

"I am worthless. I am clumsy. I am stupid." Estel listed off.

"Speak not those words." The blonde's eyes had closed and his voice was a barely controlled whisper.

"Why?" Estel asked, curiously and angrily.

"Because you are none of those things. You have worth, more than you know. We all love you. You love us in return. That alone gives you worth. Whoever told this to you is a liar. Tell me, how could someone worthless survive a bear attack?" He asked calmly, but the human boy detected an undertone of great rage.

"Someone with great luck." He spat in return.

"There is no such thing as luck."

"SHUT UP! YOU LIE!" Estel tried to stand up but Glorfindel's cat-like reflexed enabled him to restrain the boy.

"Elladan!" Glorfindel roared.

The elder twin ran in and surveyed the situation and in the next second, he was administering his brother a ready-made sleeping potion. Elladan sighed as Estel stopped struggling and fell into a dreamless slumber. The blonde patted his young friend on the shoulder gratefully.

"Thank you, my friend."

"Tis no trouble, Glorfindel. What was he screaming about?"

Glorfindel sighed. "He was telling me that he was worthless, clumsy and stupid. He seems to think that he is right. I wonder how he got the idea."

"There are elflings who have been teasing him. He will not give names or faces, but they have always tormented him, according to a slip of tongue from Estel himself."

The two elves left the room, heading off to lunch.

XXX

Arador, one of the chief teasers of Estel, crept into the sleeping boy's room and snickered. This would be a great joke. He and his friends delighted in seeing the boy cry. What a sniveling weakling he was. Arador himself could EASILY take on a bear and take a victory, AND bring back the bear for supper. The stupid boy nearly got killed. Shame, really,

He switched the tea prepared for Estel with a drink that caused extreme hyperness and even sometimes insomnia. He sniggered as he finished the switch. He didn't realize the human was awake.

"What are you doing?" The human's voice cut through the silence of the darkened room, for it was night.

"Shut up, human."

"Tell me now."

"No, stupid."

"I'm not stupid."

Arador 'accidentally' sat on the boy's broken leg, watching the tears fill his eyes and a broken whimper come from his lips. "You are stupid and ugly and worthless and such a crybaby. An elf wouldn't be bothered by a broken leg, idiot!" He smacked Estel over the head and left.

XXX

Estel had trouble sleeping that night. He tossed and turned as best he could with his injured leg. He couldn't help but think about what Arador had said. Was he really worthless? What had he done to make the elflings hate him so much? Well… maybe that was it. He didn't do anything to help. He went to his lessons and practiced sparring and archery, but he never helped around. Not that he had ever seen any elfling help around, but he assumed that they did, simply because he didn't. What a little worthless brat he was.

He was grateful when he saw dawn's rays filtering through the curtains that hung in front of the windows. He looked around the room and pushed the covers off himself. He could be strong. He was strong. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up, leaning heavily on his uninjured leg. No matter how strong he was, he wasn't stupid. Oh wait, he was. He sighed, wondering why he was even alive. He could never do anything to alter anything. He was just a stupid human.

He hopped on one foot over to the small table across the room and grabbed a large stick, just the right size for him to walk with. He didn't care that he would be punished for being out of bed. The healers were notorious for being very particular about their patients and when they could stand or sit up and what they could eat or drink to quicken their healing. And if they caught anyone disobeying, they would be like a flustered mother and the patient was a naughty elfling.

He hobbled out the door and clumsily and noisily clunked to his room, wincing each time he made a loud sound. He was very tired, and he just wanted to be in his bed, where he was safe. His room was his sanctuary and where he hid when he needed to hide away from the world. And now, he wanted – no, needed – to be there even more so now. He couldn't care less what his—nay, what Lord Elrond would say. His father had been a human. He was a charge of Elrond, not his son. What a fool he was to think elves could love him. They lied just to make him feel loved.

He collapsed on his bed, but it just so happened a blonde already stood in his room. It was Legolas, and he did not look very pleased. Estel gulped.

"Estel, what are you doing in here?" He asked sharply.

"What are you doing in here, elf? This is my personal space, you're not supposed to be in here!" He yelled.

"You should be in the healing wing." Legolas pointed out.

"You should be in Mirkwood." Came Estel's biting reply.

"What has happened to you? You won't allow anyone near you, even when we just want to love and care for you." The elf looked mournful and it sent pangs to Estel's heart. Damn elves and their expressive eyes.

"You lie." He muttered.

"I cannot lie. I am a prince of Mirkwood and lying is punished most severely." He reminded the young human.

"SHUT UP!" He screamed.

The elf crawled onto the bed beside Estel, as he had done when the boy was much younger and had awoken from a frightening nightmare. Estel burrowed into the covers, putting it over his head and telling Legolas to continuously to go away, but the elf was stubborn and would not leave, despite the human's pleas.

"Estel, what happened?" He asked softly, putting his hand on the boy's back.

"They called me stupid. Worthless. Ugly. Human."

"Yes, you are human. But that does not make you the other things they said to you. You are the most intelligent young man I have ever known. You have more worth than most elves." Legolas whispered softly, drawing the covers from Estel's sobbing form. He brought the boy to his chest and held him as he cried, letting out all the emotions.

"I just want… I just want…. I just…"

"Everyone needs to be loved. And everyone needs to realize they are loved. You are loved, by your father, brothers and by all your friends."

"What friends?" Estel asked bitterly.

"Me."

Legolas smiled as Estel curled up and fell asleep, content with the reassurances that he was worth something. The elf tucked him in, like the times he would when Estel was four and five and pressed a soft, brotherly kiss to his brow and then left the room, to be faced with two concerned faces.

"What was wrong?" Elladan asked, glancing apprehensively at his littlest brother's door. "What happened?"

Legolas shrugged slightly. "He never told me, but he said 'they' told him he was stupid and ugly and worthless."

Elrohir sighed and nodded. "I know who they are."

Elladan and Legolas rounded on the youngest twin. "WHO?" They asked insistently.

"Come with me."

Elrohir led them through the hallways to a small courtyard to where a small group of elflings were playing hide and seek. He pointed to them. "They're the ones who have teased Estel. But he never said a word."

"Why?" Legolas asked, baffled Estel never said anything about him being teased.

"He doesn't want anyone to get in trouble." Elrohir shrugged.

"Again I ask you… why?"

"He's noble." Elladan said suddenly. "He doesn't want anyone to be in pain or to have reason to grumble."

The three elves were silent and then Legolas went off to practice archery and the twins sighed in unison. Elladan looked at his younger brother and they walked back to Estel's room. They opened the door and entered silently. They laid down, one on each side of the sleeping human.

Estel stirred and he awoke. He yelped when he realized his brothers were by his sides. He nestled into his blankets as he scooted closer. He looked at both of them, his eyes wide and questioning as he tried to decide whether or not to tell them to leave.

"Estel, they won't tease you ever again." Elladan promised solemnly.

"Who?" Playing dumb worked sometimes.

But not with his brothers. Elrohir shook his head. "Stop pretending, little brother."

"Thank you." He whispered.

Elladan and Elrohir grinned together. The eldest ran his hand over his human brother's head. "We love you, brother."

"Why?"

"Because you are strong and you have courage. You stayed strong despite tormenting and you have a mind of your own. And we love you because you are Estel. You don't have to be anyone to earn our love." Elrohir answered and hugged his brother to himself.

Estel cried in his brothers' arms, letting out all the pain and suffering and he also wept from joy. Joy that he had somewhere to be safe always, and where he could be loved no matter what he did.


	3. Comic Relief Is What They Call It

Title: Just a Family

Author: JRR Tolkien. Yeah, like that would ever happen. You know who.

Rating: K+

Summary: See first chapter

Disclaimer: Would I be writing here if I owned this? Honestly.

Author's Note: Again, no slash. Estel and Legolas are the best of friends only. I beg forgiveness since I think I have gone out of character for both of them. And mostly, this is setting up for next chapter.

Just a Family

Story Three

XXXXXXX

"Ada! I'm not a child!" Estel whined pitifully.

Elrond let out a patient sigh. This child could surely get on his last nerve, and it was only by the power of his ring that he managed not to scream in agony. "No, Estel. You will not be competing in the archery tournament." He said in such a final tone that Estel couldn't find the words to argue in return until after Elrond had left his son's bedroom.

Estel gaped at his father. The run-in with the bear had been almost a year ago! He was almost sixteen and his leg was fine, thank-you-very-much. If he could survive being tackled by his brothers, he was certainly alright for an archery tournament. Standing up didn't hurt that much anymore. He looked around his room and let out a groan.

He walked out of his room and started down the hallway. Legolas soon was at his friend's side and neither of them spoke for a moment. The prince decided to speak up. "What's bothering you?"

"Ada won't let me compete."

"That's alright."

"Huh? You're supposed to be on my side!" He looked up indignantly.

"I would have beaten you."

"Well, true, but that's not the point!" He pointed his finger at Legolas. "Stop trying to make it the point!"

The elf laughed merrily and then proceeded to run for his life from a laughing human. Their chase led them outside and into the sun. Legolas slowed to a walk and Estel gave up being angry at the elf. He hadn't been that offended in the first place. The day was slow and relaxing, like most Sundays where time seems to slow for a couple of hours and there is twenty percent more hugs. Estel let out a sigh.

"I really would have liked to compete and show those elflings I'm as good as they are." Estel muttered, kicking a stick out of his way.

Legolas shrugged. "Ah." He replied oh-so-intelligently. "Well, maybe next time."

"But next time doesn't matter! They only care about this one, and impressing everyone. Everything'll just get worse!" Estel knew he was whining, but he'd like to think that it was justified and this was one of those times you were allowed to be childish. "Ugh. What are we going to do tonight?"

Legolas raised an eyebrow in that irritating manner of his. "What do you mean? You know we both have to be at the festival following the tournament."

The young human teenager nodded. "Well, yes, but what are we going to do?" He stressed the word 'do'.

"Stand there and look pretty?" The prince ventured an answer.

Estel grinned. "Precisely."

"I'm glad we agree on something." Legolas replied dryly.

The two walked under the eaves of the forest, visiting the familiar paths they always walkd together. They were silent for a time, this being the sacred time between them. Words couldn't make the time they spent together anymore precious, especially to the prince. He knew the bitter price of mortality, and his heart ached at the thought he would lose his closest friend. Of course, he did have his friends in Mirkwood, but nothing could replace this mortal that had stolen his heart and he didn't want it back.

"Legolas?" Estel's voice was small, and the prince was reminded of a time years ago when the child had climbed on his lap when there had been a thunderstorm.

"Yes?" He stopped and turned to look at the human. He felt an urge, one that clearly told him to back off, but he ignored it.

"I…"

Legolas leaned against a nearby tree and simply waited. Estel seemed lost, whether in his thoughts or emotions, even the elf could not tell.

"Do you think I'm good enough?"

"What?" Legolas was almost amused by the question. It seemed absurb, for the answer was so obvious.

"Do you think I'm any good? I'm almost sixteen and I haven't done anything, really."

Legolas gave his friend a smile. "Of course I do. And that's simply preposterous. You've done much." Again, he felt the same urge, the one that made him hesitate. "Estel, you're my friend and if nothing else, it means the world to me."

"What do you mean?" Estel had long since looked up to the strong prince, and admired everything he did. To matter to such a person… well, it was hard to imagine.

"My mother died a long time ago, and I never thought anything would ever cheer me up. Of course, the twins had gone on a blood rage after their mother passed and never had time anymore, but then you came along. You were this ugly bundle," He chuckled at this. "But I loved you, like the little brother I never had."

"Wow."

"But come! The archery tournament will be starting soon and we can boycott it and go flirt with the pretty ladies." Legolas' prowess with the female race was well-known, but it never went further than a wink and a kiss on the hand. It was also known that Legolas was 'allergic to girls', or that was the story that the twins were telling people.

Of course, Legolas was never one to pass up friendly competition and won easily, but Elrohir came in a close second place. Estel rolled his eyes as Elrohir tackled Legolas as payment, and then went to sit with an elleth he had become acquainted with, named Mireth. Estel leaned forward in his seat and called to Elrohir.

"So, Elrohir, were you planning on kissing Mireth… you know, ever?"

If elves could blush, the couple would have been scarlet. Elrohir cleared his throat. "I don't know…" He answered intelligently.

Mireth patted his hand and laughed lightly as Estel turned his attention elsewhere. Legolas was sitting with one of the female attendants from the entourage that seemed to follow him wherever he went when it was on a 'mission' from his father. Their hands were linked and Estel suddenly felt alone. It was hard to be around the couples and wish you had someone. But he made a face. Okay, maybe not.

Elladan came over with a tray. "Okay, children, don't drink too much." He cautioned before taking a large swig himself and swaggering over to… well, who knows where.

Estel took his mug and looked at it. He knew very well that he shouldn't drink it, since Ada would be simply furious if he found out. Of course, he had had wine before, but that was only at formal dinners. He looked around and saw the other four drinking the ale and took a sip himself. He made a face, but found that he liked the sensation of it burning down his throat. It was like eating a pepper but enjoying the taste after the burning finally stopped.

With the careful restraint as all teenagers show, Estel remained sober.

Or not.

Estel was swaggering about, not knowing who he bumped into or what he was saying. He pushed someone on accident and then found himself on his back, stars forming in front of his eyes before he fell unconscious.

When he next awoke, there was a bright light shining right in his eyes and his head hurt like an Orc's swing. He groaned aloud, rolling over. Even just smelling the too-sterile sheets he realized with horror where he was. He sat up, letting out a much larger groan. Someone walked over to him, silently, since it was an elf, and patted his back.

"Lie back, Estel."

"Wha.. what?"

"Its me, Mireth." The voice was very light and he recognized it as Mireth's. She liked him well enough; maybe she wouldn't tell Elrond about this incident.

"Have I died? Because its funny, you'd think I would have stopped moving." Estel muttered sarcastically.

"What?" She asked, giving him a glass of some herbal mixture that was sure to taste horrible but work wonders. "Drink." She ordered.

"Ada is going to kill me if he finds out." He drank the entire mixture in one large gulp. He could have thrown up from the sheer bitterness of the herbs if they weren't working already.

Mireth laughed. "Elrohir covered for you. He drank probably twice his body weight to distract Lord Elrond." She ruffled Estel's hair.

"Why?"

"Because I asked him too… well, I bribed him."

"What?" He spluttered. "What did you give him?" The price must have been high, seeing as how Elrond's anger was famous.

Mireth rolled her eyes. "You don't want to know."

"No, really, we do." Legolas entered the room, a smirk on his face. "Come on Mireth."

"Where were you, my prince?" She drawled. "Actually, no, I don't want to know."

Legolas had the decency to look offended. "What? I wasn't kissing anyone…" He smirked. "Enough about me."

Mireth sighed. Both of them would nag her until the end of the world if she didn't tell them now. "Fine. He asked me for a kiss if he would distract Lord Elrond. And so I kissed him!" She scurried out of the room, embarrassed.

Legolas and Estel grinned at each other.


	4. The Feud Between Brothers

All normal disclaimers and credits apply. I still do not own Lotr.

Estel didn't sleep well that night, or the next night, or even the nights for the next four months. He hardly slept at all. It was such a blow to his heart that Elrohir had lost the one person that had even come close to winning his heart, though it was no secret that Mireth had won Elrohir's heart and Elrohir never wanted it back. Estel still thought back to that fateful day, when everything seemed to crash down.

_Lord Elrond sat in his study, his head in his hands. Elrohir and Elladan were in a tight embrace, both weeping, but Elladan's sobbing could not compare to the wails of anguish that were emitting from the younger twin. Glorfindel leaned against the wall, tears flooding down his face for the grief that raged through one of his students who had become a close friend. Estel sat in the corner, still clutching the letter that had come from Haldir, the Marchwarden of Lorien. It read:_

'_To the Lord of Imladris, and any whom this might concern-_

_Mireth of Imladris has passed. Her party had been attacked by Orcs on their way to Lothlorien and all but three were killed. Her body will be buried here, due to her parents' wishes before they sail. The Lady sends her invitation to come and see her burial and her deepest sympathies to those who held Mireth close to their hearts._

_Haldir, Marchwarden of Lothlorien_

Estel tossed and turned in his bed for another hour, just as the sun was peeking its golden head over the mountains that protected Imladris' borders. He stood up and crept out into the dark hallway. Most were still asleep and a shadow of gloom had taken hold of the once peace that had reigned. He didn't think to knock before entering the room that Elladan and Elrohir shared.

His footsteps were quiet, but not quiet enough to not disturb Elrohir. The twin sat up in his bed, his eyes seeking the intruder, trying to hide the fact he hadn't slept for days and that weeping had taken the place of sleeping. He cleared his throat and sighed.

"What are you doing here, Estel? You should be asleep." He whispered softly.

Estel walked to the side of Elrohir's bed. "You weren't sleeping either, brother." He replied. He could distinguish the marks of tears on his brother's face, and it broke his heart to see the once jovial elf so broken down and pained.

"Well, I won't be sleeping for a long while." He whispered bitterly.

"Elrohir…"

"Get out of here, Estel. You could never understand."

Estel was so stunned by the angry statement from his brother that he immediately left the room and entered his own. He stared down at the floor and felt a small part of himself die. He knew well that Elrohir was dangerously consumed by his grief and was only reacting out of instinct to protect himself and was only slightly injured by it. He sat down on his bed and watched the sun rise.

Hours passed and a maid entered his room quietly as always, ushering him out of bed so she could start her work. He pulled on a tunic as he left his room again. He looked around and yawned, stretching. He made his way down to the hall where breakfast was already in progress. He took his seat between his two brothers. Elrohir looked even worse than he had earlier that day, while Elladan looked considerably better than he had in a while. Looking around the head table, Estel noted that Legolas was not present.

"Ada?" Estel addressed his father.

"Yes?" Elrond looked up from his fruit.

"Where's Legolas?"

"Ah, he had to leave on urgent business for his father." Elrond explained and Estel sighed.

The young human despised it when Legolas left for his home in Mirkwood. While Estel knew he was a prince and had duties, he only got to see his close friend for a couple weeks every five years or so. Letters were not enough to make up for the physical absence of the elf. He sighed and finished his meal, leaving the hall to go outside, get some fresh air, and practice his archery.

Estel strung his bow and fitted an arrow onto the string. His mind was not fully on the arrow, and his shot was on the very edge of the target. He heard snickers and tensed up. He was definitely not in the mood. He fired another and his anger drove it to the center, almost to the bulls-eye. The next arrow he shot went flying into the air, landing somewhere in the forest, for he had been roughly shoved from behind.

Estel whirled around, anger taking the place of intimidation. "Now, listen here, Arador! Get away from me, I'm not in the mood!" He yelled.

Arador smirked, pushing Estel a little bit more. "Really? Is it because your stupid brother lost that stupid elleth? She was really dumb and ugly." He taunted.

Estel threw a punch, giving the elfling a bloody nose. "That's for insulting the elleth my brother loved!" He screamed, throwing himself on Arador in a rage.

Suddenly, he was picked up from behind and roughly restrained. "Estel! Daro!" Glorfindel commanded. (Stop, halt)

Estel was immediately quieted, and he froze. He was going to be killed for fighting. He couldn't help but be proud at the blood streaming down Arador's face. Served him right. The elfling, however, was sobbing pathetically, babbling some story about Estel insulting Arador's family and Elrohir's love for Mireth. Glorfindel simply sent the elfling up to the infirmary and turned upon Estel.

"So?" The Balrog-Slayer looked murderous.

"So what?" Estel answered, not understanding what Glorfindel meant.

"Estel! I cannot believe you! Insulting the boy's family and your own brother? Do you have any heart at all?" Glorfindel was bristling, and looked quite frightening.

"I didn't do it! It was Arador! He called Elrohir stupid, Mireth ugly and dumb, and made a mockery of Elrohir's love for Mireth! I would never!"

Glorfindel shook his head. "Arador has never lied! Estel, I shall talk to your father about this. What were you thinking? How can you think that your brother never loved Mireth?"

Elrohir took that moment to enter the scene, upon overhearing Glorfindel speak. He was frozen in disbelief. He had believed that Estel understood what he was going through, almost as well as Elrond did. His eyes were filled with betrayal and then anger. He shook with rage.

"I loved Mireth with all of my heart. You are a disgrace, Estel, if you think that way." His voice was calm, though his face told a different story. "I love her still." His voice dropped to a whisper and then he turned away and disappeared into the House.

Estel sighed, looking up at Glorfindel. "You don't believe me?" His voice shook with anger. "I love my brother and I loved Mireth, like everyone else! I would never say that, let alone feel that way! I can't believe you don't believe me!" He screamed. Most of his anger wasn't even about this situation, but he took it all out in a scream until he was left feeling so much lighter and breathless.

"Come with me." The seneschal's voice was even and had an undertone of controlled rage.

Estel could do nothing but follow Glorfindel to Elrond's study. The walk seemed longer than it actually was. The Balrog-Slayer's steps were ringing in the hallway as they ascended the stairs. His dark hair fell into his gray eyes as he hung his head. He muttered a vicious curse word in Dwarvish under his breath, earning himself a sharp, reproving glare from Erestor as he walked by.

Elrond looked up from very important looking documents to send to Lothlorien as Glorfindel and Estel walked in. He knew something was wrong, and it wasn't because of his foresight either. Glorfindel looked like he always did whenever the twins dyed his hair or stole his clothes, and Estel looked like he might cry. Might, of course, was the keyword because the boy was almost seventeen and practically a man in his own thought. The elven lord cleared his throat and leaned back.

"Do I truly want to know?" He asked, his eyebrow shooting up.

Estel took a step forward. "I would never…"

"Estel made a comment about Mireth and Elrohir, and insulted that elfling, Arador, Estel insulted his family." Glorfindel reported, his voice and manner much calmer than it had been earlier.

Elrond, surprisingly, didn't blow up. He closed his eyes with a disappointed sigh. Logically, it could only be that Estel was reacting badly to Elrohir losing Mireth and lashed out, just trying to escape from the problem. It made much sense, but he still was very disappointed. To Estel, that look of disappointment hurt him a lot more than a five-hour lecture.

"Go to your room, Estel. I will talk with you later."

Estel stormed from the room. He was glad he hadn't been given any sort of punishment, but he couldn't believe that Glorfindel and Elrond actually thought he would say something that like. He couldn't believe that ELROHIR believed he would say something. He had loved Mireth. She was sweet and caring and very beautiful. He had been the couple's number-one fan and had wanted them to get married.

Estel knocked softly on Elladan and Elrohir's room. Elladan answered it. "If you want to come in, we, meaning Elrohir and I, would like to set a few ground rules." He said importantly.

"Uh… okay." He said, taken aback.

"First off, you do not mention Mireth. Second of all, you do not try to apologize. Thirdly, you have to do stable-cleaning for a month every time you step into our room." Elladan crossed his arms over his chest.

"Fine." Estel muttered, shoving by his oldest brother.

Elrohir looked up from where he was lying on his bed. "Greetings, Estel."

"Hello Elrohir. You feeling okay? You didn't look so amazing this morning." The young human sat on the younger twin's bed.

"Eh." He muttered, rolling over onto his side.

Elladan sat down on his own respective bed. "We just miss Legolas." He lied.

"Oh please." The seventeen-year-old rolled his eyes. He was having those strange teenage mood swings, and was prone to going slightly out of character, but it is the character's fault, not the author's. "You miss Mireth. I know you hate me because you think I said all those horrible things, but I loved her too. But in a very, VERY different way." He sighed. "Look, I know you loved her, but I would never say anything like that!"

Elrohir stood up. "Be quiet! You have no idea how much I loved her and how much I miss her." Tears started to slide down his face. "I can't believe you said that about Mireth…"

"BUT I DIDN'T!" Estel screamed. He was breathing heavily by this time, red in the face. "I'm out of here." He slammed the door behind him.

The human stormed down the hallways to his private quarters. He closed the door, collapsing down onto his bed. He pulled his shirt off and laid back. He tried to do those deep breathing exercises he had learned from his Ada after his run-in with the bear. He looked around and closed his eyes. He tried using logical reasoning to understand Elrohir was going through so much pain, but didn't real families pull together after a tragedy?

Estel walked over to his balcony and opened up the doors. He went over to the bench Elladan had given to him on his tenth birthday to sit on, since he adored the stars and hearing stories about each of them. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked up. The stars were shining so bright, illuminating Imladris in all its glory, but it was lost on him. All he wanted was Elrohir to know that he'd always be there, no matter what he needed. Estel was his brother, and that was that.

Light droplets of rain started to fall down and Estel walked back inside.

"I can't believe that they don't…" He trailed off in a whisper. "I thought they were my brothers." He ran a hand through his hair, feeling incredibly selfish at his thoughts.


	5. Roots of Pain

I still don't own LotR.

It was a given that Elrohir would go to see Mireth's burial. It would have been wrong for him not to. The young heir to Rivendell would have rather died than missed seeing her one last time. There was some closure that needed to be gained and a part of him hoped that his grandmother could help in healing from this. He didn't want to be stuck in the depression that plagued him forever, but without Mireth, there was no happiness to be had. So many people had come up to him and offered their condolences, but he was too bitter to accept them. He merely mumbled his thanks and continued along his way.

Elrohir, dressed in his finest silks and satins, rode into Lothlorien. He didn't even have the emotional energy to smile when Haldir and his soldiers dropped from the trees to greet them. The marchwarden, though cold to the world, was a very close friend of his, gave Elrohir that look that clearly said, "We'll talk." before giving them leave to move along to the house of the Lady of Light.

Estel, on the other hand, was enjoying this immensely, despite the circumstances. He had never visited Lorien before, though he had spent time with his grandparents, and now he was getting a chance to see the famed trees and see the mighty marchwardens. He would spend time under the trees and near the river that so many songs spoke of. He could identify several different flowers he saw growing in the ground. He wanted to take a couple as souvenirs, but thought that would be disrespectful.

_Your brother loves you._ He heard his grandmother's voice in his head. He was still surprised by it. He jumped, and one of the guards that had come with them from Rivendell grinned at him.

Elrohir resisted the urge to run his fingers through his beautifully done braids that Elladan had worked so hard on that morning. As brothers, they did each other's hair as a sign of their devotion and love, and it was an everyday routine for them, and it comforted him that they still had a shred of normality. He looked around at the trees, feeling an immense sense of loss. The only times he ever rode under these trees were with his family or with Mireth, visiting her parents. They had been quite excited about the fact he would be a Lord of Rivendell with Elladan when the time came, and the fact their daughter was courting him.

Oh, Mireth, how he missed her. He would have given up everything, his position, his forture, his very life, if he could hold her and kiss her for the last time. He thanked the Valar for his forwardness, having had kissed her before she had left. He didn't know what he would have done if he hadn't had that one experience that surpassed all others in the level of being cherished. His stomach turned and he was tempted to let go of his nonexistent breakfast. He still wasn't eating; he couldn't bear it. It was almost as if this was a punishment he was putting on himself, for not protecting her.

Elrohir glanced over his shoulder at Estel, whom was looking incredibly excited. He smiled at the teenager's obvious emotions. The one thing he loved about his brother was his childish excitement. Estel was never sad for long and could entertain him for hours. He wondered if his dear brother had actually said those things. His heart broke at the thought that there was a chance, but it seemed so out of character for him. He slowed his horse and let Dorian, his mare, walk in step with Estel's horse. The young human looked down as Elrohir tried to find words.

"I'm sorry." Elrohir whispered softly.

Estel looked up. "What?"

"I'm sorry for not believing you…" He had been about to continue as they entered the great house, greeted by many servants and some of the lesser nobility that lived in Lorien, and his voice was lost.

"Its okay. I forgive you." The two brothers embraced after they had dismounted, and Elladan, sensing this, walked over.

"Come along, you two, we're meeting grandfather and grandmother!"

Elrond, Elladan, Elrohir, and Estel were led into a much less formal receiving chamber and sat at the cozy and intimate table that was in the middle of the room. Galadriel and Celeborn were already seated.

"Welcome!" Celeborn greeted them with a thin smile. "You have our sympathies." Galadriel nodded at this, her face grim as she looked upon Elrohir.

_Her love remains with you through her death._ Elrohir heard her voice in his head and he coughed to hide his want to simply break down right there.

Elrohir ran his hands over the table, nodding sadly. He didn't want to talk about it. He hadn't wanted to talk about it. He had only said anything to Elladan, who had comforted him immensely. But talking about it meant being vulnerable and he hated weakness. He couldn't have been more excited when their food arrived and Elrond engaged in conversation with Galadriel and Celeborn about border defenses.

"Ro?" Estel got his attention softly.

"Yes?" He turned his head as he chewed on a carrot.

"Are you okay?" The seventeen-year-old put a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"I will be." He replied, before turning his attention back to the conversation. There was nothing that interested him. He simply wanted to see Mireth again, before Galadrial let her body join her spirit as it went to Eru to join in his Music, until she was reborn. If she was reborn. It burned him with bitterness to entertain the idea she might not want to be reborn. The thought made him glad he had swallowed or he would have choked.

"Come, Elrohir." Elladan waited for his brother as they were escorted to their quarters.

Elrohir listened to the laments the elves sung for Mireth. It did him well that they spoke of her gentleness, her kindness and her faithfulness. He looked around the lavish room both he and Elladan always slept in during their stays and let out a long sigh. Elladan had left to meet up with a beautiful lady, one whom the elder twin always insisted that they were friends. Turning his attention back to the beautiful song, he leaned his head against the wall. He closed his gray eyes and played with the edges of his tunic. Mireth had loved the songs of Lorien, and often sang the ones she knew, especially the one about the Nimrodel. Hearing the familiar tune echo in his head, he wiped away a tear.

He clenched his hands, his breathing hitched. He would have traveled the world just to feel her touch one last time. Elrohir knew there were a million things, simple things, that he had wanted to do with her, that he would never get a chance to. Small things like waking up beside her, giving her a white rose, the symbol of pure love, singing to her of his love, reciting poetry to make her shy, feeling her hand in his. His world had revolved around her for the last fifty years, in Mortal terms. He would not have traded that time for anything.

But it had been tragically been cut short. Battle light shone in his stormy gray eyes and he made a vow to himself. He would kill every Orc and avenge her death. He would make them all pay a thousand times over what she had to pay for her innocence.

Elladan entered the room. He saw the look in his brother's eyes and sighed. "I will go with you, brother, wherever you lead us."

"No." Elrohir answered bluntly. "I go alone. She was my…" He trailed off. "I never got to tell her, 'Dan. I never got to tell her that I loved her."

Elladan sat down on the floor beside Elrohir. "She knew. She loved you too. I could tell. She always asked about you, and she was always trying to get me to steal a shirt from you so she could have it. She told me that the one thing she wanted most was to know you felt the same way, and a white rose wouldn't have hurt either, were her words." He smiled. "I gave her a few hints myself."

Elrohir smiled, a tear slipping down his face. "I'm glad, then. But I miss her so. I keep thinking one day a servant will tell me she asked me to meet her in the garden, or I will find a letter under the door or a small handkerchief of hers, soaked in jasmine, her favorite perfume." He laughed. "She was always trying to get me to let her put it on me, and I'd always say no. She would call me weak and then pretend to be aloof. I would kiss her and then she'd sneak the perfume on me anyway."

Elladan grinned. "That explains a couple things."

Elrohir laughed. "She was very excitable and childish, almost, and so caring. She wanted to help Erestor and teach children. I loved seeing her chasing the youngest ones around because I could imagine for a moment that… that…"

"That they were yours and you had married her?" Elladan supplied.

"Yes." Elrohir admitted. "My heart aches." He put a hand to his chest.

Elladan took his brother's hands. "Mine aches for you. Continue, tell me about Mireth. Take your mind from your pain or I shall douse you in jasmine."

Elrohir curled up beside his brother and told him many tales of his adventures with his love as the day turned into night. He yawned like a child and put his head on Elladan's chest.

"Goodnight, muindor." He whispered.

"Sleep."

Elladan waited until Elrohir was completely submerged in elven dreams and stood up, carrying his brother as one would a small child and deposited him onto his bed. Elladan then went to his own bed and fell into his own dreams.


End file.
